Hello everyone, I’m Kubo Shiori.
September. If you realize it, you can see the small hints of autumn looking back at you. During this time, I’m still faintly searching for the remains of summer. Today, in the rain, a saw a cicada perched on the wall of an old building.
Dear everyone, that reminds me of summer, you don’t have to be in a rush to leave, I’ll find you so please take your time.
September 3rd.
Wow, it’s already been 3 months since that live and yet I’ve constantly had regrets in my heart that I couldn’t leave anything behind. During that time, I’m thankful for being able to do many things that I wanted to do. Even though this time has been plentiful it has yet to fade, it’s still there within me, and so that’s what I want to write about today.
May 9th 2021, the 3rd generation 9th year birthday live concert was held. The live concert was broadcast online, to everyone that watched it, thank you very much.
May 9th 2017, exactly 4 years previously, we 12 members of the 3rd generation held our very first 3rd generation solo live concert. Four years later we were able to make that dream come true once again as we performed that live concert as 12 members. I remember all the joy and emotions pouring out during the concert.
On the day that we performed ‘3nin no Principle’. Once the performance was over, I suddenly heard a song that I’d never heard played before. From the moment they said, ‘this is your song’, I felt as though the 3rd generations finally started to move forward.
From that song that started it all to this live concert. At the beginning of ‘Sanbanme no Kaze’ once Momoko screams ‘let’s goo!’ we’re always able to hit our peak levels on energy.
On that day as well.
From there was the 3rd generation song medley which takes us down the path we have walked. In each song there are so many emotions and the words ‘preserving physical strength’ didn’t even cross my mind, they were so far away that I felt as though these words didn’t exist.
When I looked beside me during the MC everyone’s faces were red. Everyone’s hair was drenched in sweat. In that moment I covertly thought to myself, “the 3rd generation members, do we love each other too much?”
The path that we followed at this live wasn’t just the 5 years we spent as a part of this group. It was Nogizaka’s history, their 10-year history. As we got on to that stage, we were bearing the weight and history of the ‘outfit’.
While wearing different outfits we danced the same song. Until the true final performance I couldn’t even begin to imagine what shape the concert would take, but I felt that somewhere a new door would open. To put my arms through the sleeves and be clad in the same outfit that the senior members wore and to stand upon that stage not once have I ever felt my nervousness wane. On this day I felt as though the tension increased several times more than usual. The song I was responsible for, the outfit.
I was lent Nanase’s outfit and danced ‘Inochi was Utsukushii’ as its center for the first time.
The same outfit I wore at the in-person meet and greet all those years ago, but in a different position. The strange thing was, I wasn’t intimidated. Inside of me this song, for 5 years, is a song I’ve studied in detail. I may still be inexperienced, but I think I was able to show off who I am now. More than anything, it’s the ‘first’ song we danced as 12 members of the 3rd generation. We have a strong connection to it. More than anything, I’m glad that we were able to perform this song at this live concert.
Memories of ‘the first time’ is something that will not fade easily.
5th YEAR BIRTHDAY LIVE
The ‘first’ time we stood on the same stage as the senior members. I remember that moment clearly. Since then, we stood on the same stage many time but the first time I feel is especially significant. Even though we were standing next to members of the same generation it didn’t feel that way. I remember that I couldn’t help but feel the fear and anxiety.
The outfit we wore that time was ‘Harujion ga Sakukoro’. While the senior members wore the outfit from the opening performance, we, 12 members of the 3rd generation, wore the outfit ‘Harujion ga Sakukoro’ and participated.
The same song in the same uniform.
‘Shiori Yuki ni Notte’ we performed at the same time the video was played. During the rehearsal the manager only said, ‘It makes me want to cry’. In the dressing room we watched the video, we cried.
Have the words ‘We won’t change.’ ‘We changed.’ always been this warm.
The manager said, “this song is perfect for your3rd generation members right now” as they chose the song. Hazuki and Renka played the guitar while we sang.
‘Boku Dake no Hikari’
Looking beside me, I could see everyone’s smiling faces as they sang. So much fun, so much fun, I though as I sang, looking again I saw everyone crying. The pleasure, joy, sadness, pain, tenderness, I love it. Why it was sad, I’m not sure. But in that moment, only the 12 of us I feel were able to obtain that light.
When I say that I was more nervous for this live concert than I have ever been before it is not an exaggeration, but other generations also performed.
The junior members sang with love, the senior members sang with respect.
This is something that we’ve been looking for, challenged by. Truthfully speaking, there was also fear. ‘there’s no good reason we can’t do it’ is how it felt.
However, during those 5 years, spending time as a part of Nogizaka46, I thought about the meaning of the ‘mission of hope’ that we were given. There were 12 different ways of thing and each and every fan also has their own thinking. How many different ways are there to think about it. There is no answer but at the time I couldn’t help but think that ‘we’re all connected to Nogizaka46’
The feelings that blossomed inside me I felt pushed me to move forward. However, I was able to earnestly feel that all I could do was put my feelings of respect into whatever song I performed. The result was refreshing, and I was able to encounter new feelings. Challenges always bring about new emotions. I want to move forward without forgetting these feelings.
Over these 5 years, there has definitely been a lot of things that have changed and that haven’t changed. Separations, encounters, loses, and gains. All of them are irreplaceable moments.
However, one thing that has continued to exist. ‘Omoide First’ is a song dedicated to the love of all 12 members.
At that time all of the members said ‘let’s perform this one last’
I wonder why. Up until this point this song ‘is going to be the last time we perform it as 12 members isn’t it’, this is what I thought many times in that moment. Thinking about it now, it might be good to perform this song once and for all. In that moment I felt that emotion once again.
It was honestly a lot of fun; it was over in the blink of an eye but finally the reality that we were able to perform this song as 12 members makes me overcome with joy.
This was something I though a couple days after I heard that Momoko was graduating.
I’m often asked, ‘when did you know’ if that’s the case I would probably answer ‘5 years ago’
Since that day I’ve had nothing but feelings of gratitude. Honestly, we probably would have become 11 members sooner. However, I’m thankful that we were able to spend 5 years together. Certainly, we were troubled many many times. Each time I couldn’t get close to you and all I could do was hope from the outside that you wouldn’t leave. I’m sorry.
Momoko, meeting Momoko, I’ve certainly changed. I can’t see through my tears, and so this is all I can convey.
I love you.
Tomorrow will be an important day for us, and all the fans that support us. September 4th. The day our fates were changed. I’m so thankful for coming here and meeting everything. Please let me bind these feelings carefully again tomorrow.
I’ll write again
Kubo Shiori
As expected, tomorrow will surely come. On the day of the Fukuoka concert, I said the same thing. I’ve never once spoken the words ‘I hope tomorrow never comes.’ Only when I couldn’t sleep. Only when I couldn’t close my eyes is when I truly wished that tomorrow wouldn’t come. I wonder if I’ll be able to sleep tonight. However, it doesn’t matter who you are it’s the same for everyone, tomorrow will come.
2021 September 4th.
A day without regrets. A day to convey the love to all my favorite people.
Mikuma's Nogi Translations 